Picture yourself, pulling into your driveway or parking garage, with your SUV or motorcycle covered in mud and dirt. It’s a sight that almost literally screams to your neighbors, “hey, look at me… I’m cool and kick-ass!”
Your admiring neighbors are flooded with visions of your offroad adventures, and as they reflect on their own wasted sedentary lives, your status soars and reaches new heights of envy.
In today’s busy life, with all of our professional pursuits and social obligations, who has time for a real outdoor adventure? Now, there’s an affordable time-management solution.
The Maynard Park Mudworks is open for business and ready to elevate your perceived status with an array of services designed to impress.
The concept is simple: You discreetly drive your vehicle into Maynard Park Mudworks, meet with your Design Consultant, select your Service Package, then sit back and relax while your car or motorcycle is transformed into a status symbol. The process works much like a reverse carwash, producing a realistic mud effect that will have your neighbors convinced that you’ve just returned from the adventure of a lifetime. When your vehicle is ready, you drive it home to bask in the glory and forever change the perception of your friends, neighbors and acquaintances that you’re a do-nothing, pointless nobody. When it comes to perception, perception is all that matters.
The Mudworks features “clean-mud” technology that won’t harm finishes, with authentically sourced “mud-product” from popular offroading trails. For example, when a customer selects the “Tahuya”, or “Naches Pass Trail” package, they leave with a mud coverage mix that can fool even an expert-level offroader.
If...the idea of heading into a nightmare landscape of stuck wheels spinning in mud, horrific flying and crawling insects, twisting and ominous logging roads leading to potential encounters with angry backwoods humanoids, without a Starbucks in sight...is your idea of hell on earth, then Maynard Park Mudworks is for you.
Spend your day at the Mall, go to a Film Festival or to the Library, hang out at a Casino, or indulge yourself at a Cold Stone Creamery, then when you’re ready to feel the best you’ve ever felt, drive back home to a heroes welcome.
Maynard Park Mudworks also provides water-soluble “Shoe and Pant Leg Mud Spray" as a finishing touch to your grand illusion. Packages start at $29.
